Archive for Articles
By: ETC Team
Monday, March 14, 2011
Join us April 8-9, 2011 in the Denver Colorado area (at Mission Hills Church in Littleton, Colorado) for the next Empowered To Connect Conference.
Registration for the Denver ETC Conference is still open — and you can still take advantage of the 1/2 off registration discount (made possible by a generous grant from Focus on the Family). Simply use the code FOCUS when registering online to receive this discount.
Visit www.etcconference.org for more details and to register online. We look forward to seeing you there!
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Church Ministry, ETC Conference
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By: Amy Monroe
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sue and Ron had three biological children who were healthy, happy and loved the Lord. Life was good and honestly it was fairly simple, at least until they went on a mission trip and visited a Russian orphanage. It was there that they knew in their hearts God was calling them to adopt—and not just adopt any child but a 10-year-old girl named Sasha. They were excited about what God was going to do in and through their family, but they were quite nervous as well.
Sue and Ron knew many families who had already adopted and some of what they knew about these families’ experiences was more than a little scary. Most of them adopted older children from Russian orphanages, some from Sasha’s orphanage, and most had encountered significant challenges not long after they returned home. As they reflected on the struggles that these families faced, Sue and Ron were determined to learn from these families’ experiences.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Attachment, Balance of Nurture & Structure, Count the Cost, Creative Ways to Connect, Motivations and Expectations, Older Children
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By: Amy Monroe
Friday, February 25, 2011
One of the things I’ve learned in my journey as a mom is the need for me to raise the level of nurture I bring to parenting in order to help my children build trust. My children need to trust that I will consistently meet their needs in ways that help them understand that they are precious and that their voice matters. Telling them I will meet their needs helps them to “know it;” showing them (over and over and over again) helps them experience it and learn to trust.
I’ve learned that one of the best ways to accomplish this is to give my children as many “yes’s” as I can. It is through my “yes’s” that I can best give my kids this gift of trust. In order to improve in this area, during a recent Saturday at home with my kids I committed to giving them as many “yes’s” as possible. Trust me, this wasn’t easy, but I need the practice and they need this gift. Throughout the course of that day I was intentional about catching myself before each and every “no” I was about to give. As I stopped to think every time I considered saying “no,” I asked myself a simple question: Can I give my child a joyful “yes” instead?
Tags: Attachment, Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Creative Ways to Connect, Discipline, Giving Voice, Investment Model of Parenting
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By: Lisa Qualls
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
In this short video, Dr. Purvis highlights a number of strategies for helping families, many of which we used when our family was in crisis. The over-arching theme is that we cannot parent children from “hard places” alone. As she says, we need to “pitch our tent” with others who understand and turn to them for help. As we struggled to find our way, we learned that we needed a “team” for our daughter because we could not meet her needs and the needs of our other children at the same time. We were exhausted, emotionally and physically, and we were stressed beyond belief.
But there is hope. This is our story of how we found help in the midst of crisis.
Tags: Behavioral Challenges, Church Ministry, Count the Cost, Dealing with Crisis, Motivations and Expectations, Older Children
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By: Dr. Karyn Purvis
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Institute of Child Development at TCU has created a nearly two-hour presentation available on DVD in which Dr. Karyn Purvis explains her research-based approach with children who come from what she calls “hard places.” This DVD offers a very helpful overview of the three principles that serve as the foundation of Dr. Purvis’ approach to help parents better understand how to connect with their children in order to help them heal and reach their highest potential.
In this presentation, Dr. Purvis explains how harm during the critical stages of brain growth can cause significant disruptions in a child’s development and behaviors, and offers strategies to overcome these challenges. This insightful and educational presentation is designed for parents, ministry leaders and adoption and foster care professionals alike.
You can order the DVD online from the Institute of Child Development for a price of $30 (plus shipping). To view a preview of the DVD, click here.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Behavioral Challenges, Brain Chemistry, Discipline, DVDs, Fear, Giving Voice, Investment Model of Parenting, Playful Interaction, Sensory Processing, TCU Institute of Child Development
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By: Michael Monroe
Monday, January 10, 2011
(ETC Team: This article was originally published on the Tapestry website in 2007. While many churches have made real strides in the area of adoption and foster care ministry, collectively we still have a great deal of important work to do. It is our prayer that many more churches will commit to become truly “safe places” for adoptive and foster families.)
This may not be easy to read; it wasn’t easy to write. But I think this is something we all need to face . . . and then go about praying for and seeking change. I’m speaking of our churches and how they relate to and support (or fail to relate to and support) adoptive and foster families.
If Numbers Could Talk
A 2002 nationwide survey commissioned by The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption revealed many interesting things regarding Americans’ views and attitudes about adoption. One finding was particularly relevant to local churches. When asked “where would you turn for information or advice about how to adopt,” 52% of married couples indicated they would turn to their local church or place of worship. Thus, it is clear that many people at the front-end of the adoption process think of their local church as being a good place to go for information and advice about adoption. Sounds promising, right? Hold that thought.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Church Ministry, Count the Cost, Motivations and Expectations, Tapestry
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By: Amy Monroe, Michael Monroe
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The thought of an outdoor family photo strikes fear in the hearts of most parents with young children. This experience can leave even the best parents feeling utterly powerless against both the weather and their children’s behavior. The stress starts even before picture day arrives. Finding coordinated outfits and keeping everyone’s hair perfectly combed is a challenge all its own. This humbling and expensive rite of passage leaves many parents wishing for one thing above all else: Please Lord, let them smile!
Let’s face it, situations like this can bring out the worst not only in our children, but also in us as parents. This was the case during what will certainly be known for all time as the Monroe Family Picture Fiasco of 2009. But from the mess of our poor handling of the situation came a real opportunity for better understanding and a chance to learn from our mistakes.
Tags: Behavioral Challenges, Compassion, Created To Connect Study Guide, Discipline, IDEAL Response
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By: Lisa Qualls
Friday, December 17, 2010
ETC Team Note: Holidays and other special occasions often present unique and unexpected challenges for adoptive and foster families. In this story, Lisa provides some very helpful insight into how parents can anticipate these challenges and respond with compassion, understanding and in a way that brings about a deeper sense of connection with their child.
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and has always been a treasured day for our family. We love a Christmas tree with sparkling lights, stockings stuffed to their brims, meaningful gifts, and lots of special food. But with the addition of our children from “hard places” we have found it necessary to learn new strategies to successfully celebrate holidays together as a family. Last Christmas was a day of extremes which contained so many lessons for me that I wrote them down that night hoping to make a better plan when Christmas rolled around this year. This is how I began.
How many times do I need to remind myself: Children with a history of trauma/neglect must eat every two hours.
Tags: Behavioral Challenges, Brain Chemistry, Compassion, Creative Ways to Connect, Investment Model of Parenting
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By: Lisa Qualls
Friday, December 3, 2010
It was a Tuesday morning in October 2006. Breakfast was winding down and the children gathered their books to begin the school day. My older boys were off to their room to find enough quiet to concentrate on Geometry. Upstairs the girls gathered around the dining room table to begin their work while I started the laundry. Like each school morning since 1991, we studied together as a family, something that we had dedicated ourselves to since our oldest daughter was a curious four year-old.
Fast forward four years to a Tuesday morning in October 2010. My two daughters, neatly dressed in plaid skirts and white blouses, quickly eat breakfast and grab their lunchboxes. With backpacks slung over their shoulders, they run to give me a hug and kiss as they head out the door to Russ’ car. The other children call goodbye as they settle in with their school books. Russ drives the girls to school while I grab my coffee and shift my thoughts to the day at home. Another school day has begun.
Tags: Count the Cost, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations
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By: ETC Team
Monday, November 29, 2010
This past September Empowered To Connect partnered with Show Hope to host the first Empowered To Connect Conference. Over 300 people attended, including dozens of professionals and church ministry leaders, where they were able to hear from Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael & Amy Monroe.
We are excited to announce that we will partner with Show Hope to host two Empowered To Connect Conferences in 2011:
● April 8-9, 2011 in Denver Colorado (at Bear Valley Church)
● September 23-24, 2011 in Nashville, Tennessee (at Brentwood Baptist Church)
More details and online registration will be available soon. Be sure to mark your calendars and make plans to join us at an Empowered To Connect Conference in 2011.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Church Ministry, ETC Conference
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