Archive for Articles
By: Lisa Qualls
Friday, December 17, 2010
ETC Team Note: Holidays and other special occasions often present unique and unexpected challenges for adoptive and foster families. In this story, Lisa provides some very helpful insight into how parents can anticipate these challenges and respond with compassion, understanding and in a way that brings about a deeper sense of connection with their child.
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and has always been a treasured day for our family. We love a Christmas tree with sparkling lights, stockings stuffed to their brims, meaningful gifts, and lots of special food. But with the addition of our children from “hard places” we have found it necessary to learn new strategies to successfully celebrate holidays together as a family. Last Christmas was a day of extremes which contained so many lessons for me that I wrote them down that night hoping to make a better plan when Christmas rolled around this year. This is how I began.
How many times do I need to remind myself: Children with a history of trauma/neglect must eat every two hours.
Tags: Behavioral Challenges, Brain Chemistry, Compassion, Creative Ways to Connect, Investment Model of Parenting
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By: Lisa Qualls
Friday, December 3, 2010
It was a Tuesday morning in October 2006. Breakfast was winding down and the children gathered their books to begin the school day. My older boys were off to their room to find enough quiet to concentrate on Geometry. Upstairs the girls gathered around the dining room table to begin their work while I started the laundry. Like each school morning since 1991, we studied together as a family, something that we had dedicated ourselves to since our oldest daughter was a curious four year-old.
Fast forward four years to a Tuesday morning in October 2010. My two daughters, neatly dressed in plaid skirts and white blouses, quickly eat breakfast and grab their lunchboxes. With backpacks slung over their shoulders, they run to give me a hug and kiss as they head out the door to Russ’ car. The other children call goodbye as they settle in with their school books. Russ drives the girls to school while I grab my coffee and shift my thoughts to the day at home. Another school day has begun.
Tags: Count the Cost, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations
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By: ETC Team
Monday, November 29, 2010
This past September Empowered To Connect partnered with Show Hope to host the first Empowered To Connect Conference. Over 300 people attended, including dozens of professionals and church ministry leaders, where they were able to hear from Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael & Amy Monroe.
We are excited to announce that we will partner with Show Hope to host two Empowered To Connect Conferences in 2011:
● April 8-9, 2011 in Denver Colorado (at Bear Valley Church)
● September 23-24, 2011 in Nashville, Tennessee (at Brentwood Baptist Church)
More details and online registration will be available soon. Be sure to mark your calendars and make plans to join us at an Empowered To Connect Conference in 2011.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Church Ministry, ETC Conference
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By: ETC Team
Monday, November 15, 2010
Because of the impact of their histories, children from hard places often lack the experience in effectively communicating their needs and wants, complying with requests and instructions and knowing how to navigate basic aspects of relationships in a healthy way. At the same time, what these children need most to help them heal and learn is not punishment, but practice.
Dr. Karyn Purvis and her colleagues have developed some basic scripts to help parents (and other caregivers) teach children essential relationship skills and important life values. Rather than immediately resorting to lectures, consequences or punishments, this approach actually gives your child practice at “getting it right.” By using these scripts consistently to both teach and reinforce, you have the opportunity to correct while connecting and a result truly help your child begin to overcome the effects of his/her past and together move toward a more hopeful and joy-filled future.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Behavioral Challenges, Creative Ways to Connect, Discipline, Giving Voice, Investment Model of Parenting, Playful Interaction
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By: Lisa Qualls
Thursday, October 7, 2010
It is Sunday afternoon and the back of my tired minivan sits open as we load backpacks, pillows, and fleece blankets. I kiss my other children goodbye and Russ hugs me firmly, imparting a bit of extra strength for the day. My two daughters buckle in their seats and we head west, they watching a movie or sleeping, me with one ear bud in my ear as my iPod plays.
We drive through rolling hills of wheat fields, then range land, followed by orchards. As evening approaches, we finally reach the Columbia River and merge onto I-90 heading toward Snoqualmie Pass where I pray there is no snow. Three hundred miles after we’ve begun, we reach Seattle and our friends’ home, where they will graciously host us yet one more time. In fact, we’ve made this identical trip 24 times this year.
What could possibly make me give up two days every other week, drive 600 miles round trip each time, and spend large sums of money? Hope and help for my children.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Behavioral Challenges, Count the Cost, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations, Trauma
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By: ETC Team
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
We are often asked what questions parents should consider as they make decisions and prepare to adopt or foster. Below is a list of ten questions that we believe will help parents better assess the journey that lies ahead. You can also download and print a pdf version of these questions.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Church Ministry, Count the Cost, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations
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By: Dr. Karyn Purvis, ETC Team
Friday, September 10, 2010
Empowered To Connect has created a discussion guide for the Insights & Gifts Video Series. This discussion guide was designed primarily for use in a small group setting where parents have the opportunity to share openly and learn from others. However, we believe that parents will also find this video series and the discussion guide beneficial for individual use or use as a couple.
Download the Insights & Gifts Discussion Guide free of charge by clicking here.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Church Ministry, Fear, Giving Voice, Insights & Gifts, Motivations and Expectations, Overcoming Fear, Sensory Processing, TCU Institute of Child Development
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By: Lisa Qualls
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Recently, a friend and I leaned against my kitchen counter, watching our children play in the backyard. As we sipped coffee we chatted about a young couple in our church that is in the process of adopting two children. We reminisced about the time when we were in their shoes, recalling how little we truly knew and understood about the road that lay ahead. My friend and I agreed — we wished we could share all we have learned since that time about adopting children from “hard places.” We wished that someone had done the same for us.
As we talked, I realized that much of what we have learned along the way might be helpful to more than just this couple. They are good lessons and timely reminders for all of us who are on the adoption journey, no matter how far along.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Count the Cost, Motivations and Expectations
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By: Dr. Karyn Purvis
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Children from hard places are often impacted in many different ways by their histories. One of the most profound, yet often overlooked, is the way in which these children’s sensory processing is affected.
The new educational video, A Sensory World: Making Sense of Sensory Disorders, produced by the TCU Institute of Child Development features Dr. Karyn Purvis and offers insights about how sensory processing disorders make it difficult for many children to function at home and school, and can be the underlying cause of behavioral problems. The video provides parents and professionals with the insights they need to learn to recognize signs of sensory disorders as well as the practical strategies to help parents and children effectively deal with the them. In addition, child development researchers Dr. Karyn Purvis and Dr. David Cross, and Carol Kranowitz, author of The Out-of-Sync Child, provide a number of playful activities to help children improve their self-esteem and overcome everyday struggles that hamper their success.
Tags: Behavioral Challenges, Discipline, DVDs, School Issues, Sensory Processing, TCU Institute of Child Development
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By: Dr. Karyn Purvis, Michael Monroe
Thursday, June 24, 2010
For many, the adoption process begins by surveying agency information, evaluating financial considerations and tackling mountains of paperwork, all while working through a complex array of questions, doubts and even fears. One important, but often overlooked, aspect is the need to engage the adoption journey from the “inside out” – through ongoing, honest self-reflection and self-evaluation.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Attachment, Attachment Styles, Behavioral Challenges, Motivations and Expectations
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