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Posted on Saturday, November 7th, 2009

We are continuing our work on the study guide entitled Empowered to Connect: A Christian Guide to The Connected Child Cheap viagra online cheap, .  We hope to have the study guide complete and available later this fall, but in the meantime we wanted to provide you with a "sneak peak" by sharing the introduction to the study guide below:

Introduction


Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; You will cry for help, and he will say:  Here am I.  


Isaiah 58:9

The longing of the human heart is to connect and belong.  We long to connect with our creator, in whose image we have been made, and by God’s grace such a connection is possible.  As relational beings we also have a deep need and desire to connect with those around us.  One of the most important and meaningful connections is undoubtedly that between a parent and a child. 

Our purpose for writing this study guide is to illuminate the Biblical background and underpinning that supports the guiding principles set out in The Connected Child.  In that sense, I am often asked if The Connected Child is a “Christian book?”  If that question is meant to determine whether the book was published by a Christian publisher and written exclusively for a Christian audience, including in its pages frequent references to Scripture, my answer is that the book does not necessarily fit that standard definition of a “Christian book.”  If, however, that question is meant to determine whether or not the principles of The Connected Child are consistent with Scripture and if the very motivation for my work begins with and grows out of my own personal faith and my steadfast belief that the grace of God can redeem not only our broken spiritual condition, but also our physical and relational brokenness . . . well, my answer is an emphatic “YES!”

This study guide has been designed to be used as a companion to The Connected Child, a book co-authored with my colleagues Dr. David Cross and Wendy Lyons Sunshine.  While you will gain most from these pages if you’ve spent meaningful time reading and reflecting on The Connected Child, this study guide has been designed to be valuable as a stand alone resource.  Complete with new stories and illustrations, an in-depth look at key Biblical passages and questions to consider and discuss, each chapter of this study guide contains insights and information that will help you better understand and apply what we introduced in The Connected Child.  I believe that as you work through these pages – whether by yourself, with a spouse or as part of a small group – you will better understand the philosophy and approach for the holistic model of parenting that we advocate, which has helped bring hope and healing to countless children and parents.  And as you do so, I believe you will develop a closer connection not only with your children, but also with your Heavenly Father.

Children from the Hard Places

The Connected Child and this study guide were written to help you better understand the challenges and needs of “children from the hard places.”  But not only that, these resources, together with the many other resources on the Empowered to Connect website (www.empoweredtoconnect.org), are aimed at providing the necessary insights and tools to help children heal and become whole.  Maybe you have already adopted or are currently a foster parent; maybe you are considering adoption or foster care, or in the waiting process; maybe you are a social worker, orphan care provider or caregiver; or maybe you simply want to understand better how to connect with at-risk children.  Regardless, we believe these resources can help prepare and equip you to better connect with the children that God gives you the privilege to loveand serve, cheap viagra online cheap.

Our research and that of others has revealed that there are six primary risk factors that are predictors of children from hard places.  These risk factors are: inadequate prenatal care or abnormal prenatal conditions; difficult or traumatic labor or birth; medical trauma early in life; abuse; neglect; and trauma.  Based on this list, it is clear that this term accurately describes many more children than merely those who were institutionalized or adopted later in life.  Further, it is well established that children impacted by adoption or foster care have suffered some sort of loss and as a result are more likely to struggle with a variety of questions and issues relating to that loss.  With so much seemingly working against these children and those who love them, it may be tempting to feel defeated and believe there is little hope.

Do not despair – there is hope!  As we wrote in opening chapter of The Connected Child, “if you’re ready to help your adopted child not just behave but blossom and to empower the healing connections that will bring greater joy to your family,” this study guide (and this journey) is for you.  In the pages that follow we do not offer a magic formula or a quick fix.  Instead we offer hope borne of experience and tools that are supported by research and have been proven to be effective.  This research and experience makes clear that children can make tremendous strides in overcoming these challenges – and you are God’s plan to make this happen.  With that in mind, buy levitra online cheap, our goal is nothing less than to empower you to become a healer for your children, and in so doing rediscover the joy in parenting and caring for them while at the same time allowing them to fulfill all that God has called them to be and to do.

As you continue along on this journey I firmly believe that you should not travel it alone.  In part this conviction is what brought me together with Michael and Amy Monroe who lead Tapestry, the adoption and foster care ministry at Irving Bible Church in Irving, Texas.  For years Michael and Amy, themselves adoptive parents of four children, have been walking alongside literally hundreds of families in order to help them find the information, support and, most important of all, personal connections they need to successfully navigate the adoption and foster care journey.  Together, our vision is to see churches everywhere better informed and more fully equipped to empower parents to connect with their children and to grow spiritually as well.  This is why we have developed this study guide together and, more broadly, why we have created the Empowered to Connect initiative (complete with a website, a blog and an online resource library).  Our heart is that these resources will be useful tools for churches and parents alike.

Returning to Old Wisdom

In many ways our book and this study guide represent a kind of homecoming for me and my work.  The Connected Child Cheap viagra online cheap, was born out of years of seeking to understand and apply God’s practical mercies in the lives of adopted, foster and at-risk children.  Our desire is that in this small volume you will discover a deeper sense of the mercy and grace that is found only in the presence of our loving God, and that in His presence you will find hope and strength for the journey.

The wisdom of Solomon’s words certainly applies to this book and our work – “there is no new thing under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9).  We take no credit for creating the interventions we teach.  Rather, in many ways we have simply harnessed the practical wisdom of parents from generations past and combined it with a wealth of research findings from the last 50 years. In that sense, Pharmacy tramadol, I believe we have proven the old adage to be true – good research documents scientifically the truths that your grandmother knew instinctively.

The Connected Child is essentially a synthesis of this wisdom that is rooted in Scripture, practiced by generations of parents and applied in helping children make healthy and healing connections. My work for the past decade, together with my colleague Dr, cheap viagra online cheap. David Cross, has been in developing interventions for at-risk children, and in that process we have synthesized a holistic approach to parenting wounded and hurting children that we refer to as the Trust Based Relational Intervention™ (TBRI) model.  I believe that this parenting style reflects God’s love for us as His children. His love for us is made tangible in practical ways and we believe that our parenting must also be tangible in practical ways.

The Balancing Act

As you engage with the insights and information in these pages we ask that you do so with an open mind and a receptive heart.  A temptation for some Christian parents is to use lectures, sermons and even Scripture itself to admonish, teach and correct their children, thinking this is God’s way of instruction. Always quick to correct, they administer harsh and swift punishments based on rules and laws, but neither they nor their children find joy in their shared relationship. Cheap viagra online cheap, Yet others err on the side of “cheap grace.”  Compelled by their children’s early histories, they don’t want to ask too much and tragically their permissive relationship fails to create trust in their children.

However, we must always remember that our children need a balance of equal parts nurture and structure.  Likewise, we would do well to look to how Jesus taught and interacted with people as our guide and model for connecting with our children.  Always mindful of the whole needs of the people with whom he interacted, as Jesus taught a hungry crowd he was moved with compassion to heal the sick and to also feed them. As Jesus taught his disciples, Scripture is replete with examples of how he relied upon stories of nature and parables about human behavior to relate to their hearts and minds.  And when he stood with Mary and Martha at their brother’s tomb, propecia cheap, he wept with them, even as he surely knew that he was about to raise their brother from the dead. On occasion he quoted Scripture, but more often Jesus used stories about life and the surrounding creation to teach his followers in tangible ways that they could understand and apply.  

It is our greatest hope that this study guide will serve to empower you with practical tools and insights that allow you to mirror the love of our heavenly Father as you discover new ways to make stronger and more meaningful connections with your children.

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Posted on Friday, October 2nd, 2009

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Posted on Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Where to buy zoloft, [caption id="attachment_421" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Dr. Purvis with her grandchildren"]Karyn Purvis and her eight grandchildren[/caption]

Dr. Karyn Purvis has been engaged in her work with adoptive and foster families for over ten years.  But many people would be interested to learn that her passion for helping and serving at-risk children began early in her life and is deeply rooted in her personal faith.

Empowered to Connect recently asked Dr. Purvis questions covering a range of topics, including her work, her faith and her own personal experience in caring for children in need. Here's what she had to say, where to buy zoloft.

ETC:  How did you get started in the work you do?

Dr. Purvis:  Children have been my calling and my passion since I was a child myself. As a teenager I taught children’s church and children’s choir; as a Southern Baptist home missionary my work was with foster children and street children; and as a young mother our family fostered at-risk children.

ETC:  What is your own personal experience with children from the hard places?

Dr. Purvis: Where to buy zoloft, God’s calling on my life has always been for children who have come from the hard places. Throughout my life, in ministry, in our family and in my professional work, God has led me to children from the hard places. A favorite ministry in my adult life has been to pray over unborn children and over little ones to speak blessing and “welcome” to them. Even older children, coming from hard places desperately need a welcome that acknowledges their uniqueness and their preciousness.

ETC:  You speak often about “children from hard places?  Tell us a little more about who these children are?

Dr. Purvis:  Our research and that of others has revealed that there are six primary risk factors that are predictors of “children from hard places.”  These risk factors are: inadequate prenatal care or abnormal prenatal conditions; difficult or traumatic labor or birth; medical trauma early in life; abuse; neglect; and trauma.  Based on this list, it is apparent that this term describes many more children than merely those who were institutionalized or adopted later in life.  As we look at children from hard places, sadly we see some common characteristics, behaviors and challenges.  We know that many of them have experienced changes in their brain chemistry due to their histories.  We also know that many of them experience sensory processing issues as well as challenges in developing healthy and secure attachments.  All of this can lead to various behavioral challenges as these children try to deal with their fears and try to adjust to their surroundings.  But what we also know is that there is much hope for these children and their parents.  In our work we have yet to see a child that cannot experience dramatic levels of healing in response to the right approach and interventions focused on helping the child and parents develop deep and lasting connections.

ETC:  What role does your own personal faith in Christ play in your work and in your passion to help children and families?

Dr. Purvis:  As a child, I asked Jesus to be my Lord and He has been Sovereign in my life now for many years, where to buy zoloft. As with all people, in my life, there have been mountains and valleys, but God’s faithfulness and tender mercies have always carried me through, soma prescription. God’s presence in my life permeates all that I am and all that I do. Knowing His love and grace is central to how we approach this work with at-risk children. My prayer in working with children is that when they look into our eyes, they will see the adoring love of our Heavenly Father.

ETC:  How important are our churches in the effort to help children from the hard places heal and become whole?

Dr. Where to buy zoloft, Purivs:  The Church is absolutely central to God’s heart for these children. Because so many of them have been wounded by abuse, neglect and trauma, it is critical that our families be in supportive, loving environments that can nurture and encourage them throughout the course of their journey. I am firmly convinced that our churches are the place where this can best happen, but they must be willing to learn and embrace what it means to become this kind of safe and healing place for our families.

ETC:  With all the potential to positively impact adoptive and foster families, where do you sometimes see churches and Christian families missing the mark in terms of what our children truly need?

Dr. Purvis:  My greatest sadness in observing Christian families with their children is the tendency towards an unbalanced application of God’s love. Some parents administer harsh and swift punishments, based on rules and laws. All too often this approach wounds our children even more deeply and drives them toward more and more aggressive behavior, where to buy zoloft. This cycle becomes destructive between parents and children, and soon children are feeling unsafe while parents are losing their joy in parenting.  Other parents err on the side of “cheap grace.” Compelled by their children’s early histories, they don’t want to ask too much and tragically their permissive relationship fails to create trust in and with their children.

ETC:  Some may read your book or watch your presentations and become fearful about all the “bad things” they might face along the adoption journey.  Some may even be disheartened about pursuing adoption altogether.  What would you say to them?

Dr. Purvis:  I would encourage them to seek God’s voice. Be quiet, be still and listen. Where to buy zoloft, If they don’t have peace for this journey, they need to reassess God’s calling. It is God’s peace that guides us. However, if after prayer and seeking God’s face, Cheap lorazepam, they are encouraged towards this journey, I would want them to know that every child can make dramatic steps towards healing. I have worked with violent, aggressive children, and have worked with children diagnosed with “mental illness” and have never yet seen a child who didn’t make dramatic gains in the context of an environment balanced with nurture (unconditional love) and structure (guidance and instruction).

ETC:  What stories have you witnessed that best captures the hope and healing that is available for our children and our families?

Dr. Purvis:  Over the past ten years we have seen dramatic positive changes in children within days of creating a nurturing, balanced, holistic environment, where to buy zoloft. In our first summer camp a decade ago, parents began telling us through tears of joy about their children giving spontaneous affection for the first time since their adoption many year prior; telling us of their children looking gently into their eyes and saying “I love you” for the very first time. One mother told of her son, adopted from Russia, who, for the first time in three years, trusted her enough to close his eyes in her arms and let her rock him to sleep. From that first year of our work, we have been overwhelmed with hope in understanding this miraculous unfolding, and with a commitment to take the insights garnered from our work and provide them to parents and children across the world.

ETC:  What would you say to parents who might be losing hope and don’t know where to turn or how to help their child?

Dr. Purvis:  First, I would encourage that family to find safe people who they can talk to and ask for help. Where to buy zoloft, I'd want that family to remember that because of our humanity, all of us need help from time to time, and to remember that the flow of God's love is not only in giving help, but also in receiving it.  Second, I would strongly encourage them to find a supportive community of families.  Ideally this would be through a church or church ministry consisting of families that could relate to their struggles and encourage them in practical and effective ways.  I would also encourage them to find a place of respite and healing for themselves as parents. Again, this is and should be the ministry of the church, and I would encourage them to look for this kind of help. Finally I would encourage them to find knowledgeable, insightful teaching and resources that will help guide them to practical answers that will strengthen and encourage them on their journey.

ETC:  What are you most proud of thus far in terms of what you and your have been able to accomplish?

Dr. Purvis:  I have been blessed beyond measure and God has given me my heart’s fondest dreams and more. Standing continually amazed at His blessing, I have been given sweet opportunities too numerous to count.  But my greatest joy is that God first enveloped me in His love, cheap phentermine online legally, and then He gave me three amazing sons to love, and then, when they were grown, He gave me many more children, from all over the world, to love..

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Ordering xanax online legally, Welcome to Empowered to Connect!  It is our joy and privilege to serve you.

You may be wondering – what is Empowered to Connect?  Simply put, it is our way of bringing you a wide variety of tools and resources that we believe will help you create and strengthen healthy connections with your children.  It is also our hope that church-based adoption, foster care and orphan ministries, as well as others who are committed to serving children and strengthening families, ordering alprazolam no prescription, will find these tools and resources particularly helpful as they do the work they have been called to.

Empowered to Connect is a collaboration among us (Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael & Amy Monroe).  It consists of a rich online library of resources that includes articles as well as audio and video presentations covering a variety of topics.  Over the coming weeks and months we will also be adding new resources to the online library via this blog.  Therefore, Xanax generic, we encourage you to subscribe to receive an email (or our RSS feed) each time we add new content to the resource library.  And later this year we will be offering a study guide designed to highlight and examine the biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the philosophy and the interventions detailed in The Connected Child.

We thank you for allowing us to be part of your journey.  It is our deepest hope that you will find joy and purpose along the way.

Blessings,

Karyn, Michael & Amy, cheap valium tablets.

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