Archive for “Balance of Nurture & Structure”
By: Amy Monroe, Dr. Karyn Purvis, Michael Monroe
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The challenges, problems and pain that our children face are real, and as a result, they affect us as parents as well. These challenges impact the whole child; and therefore, we must be willing to engage and embrace our children (and ourselves!) holistically. At the same time, we must always remember there are no quick fixes—merely changing behaviors will not accomplish what is needed. Our goal must be nothing less than healing for the whole child. Much like our own journey of spiritual healing and maturity, the healing we desire for our children will be a process, and it must be anchored by hope—real hope.
Tags: Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Connecting While Correcting, Investment Model of Parenting
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By: Amy Monroe
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Parents often become entangled in control battles with their children, leaving everyone frustrated and disconnected. Watch as Amy Monroe encourages parents to avoid control battles by becoming proactive.
Tags: Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Connecting While Correcting, Discipline
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By: Amy Monroe
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I’ve been talking with a lot of moms lately and many of them are struggling with their kids. I get it. There are days I struggle too. The issues we face vary from the small, frustrating and everyday, to the big, infuriating and out-of-control. But no matter what the issue or challenge, the one thing I constantly remind them of, and the one thing I have to constantly remind myself of, is the need to see my kids with eyes of compassion…and to approach each and every interaction with them compassionately.
Tags: Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Being Fully Present, Compassion, Discipline, Motivations and Expectations
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By: Dr. Karyn Purvis
Monday, January 30, 2012
Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about the use of ‘time-in’ instead of ‘time-out’ to effectively correct and train our children. As she explains, this important strategy promotes healthy development and secure connection, while at the same time dealing effectively with misbehavior.
Tags: Attachment, Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Connecting While Correcting, Creative Ways to Connect, Discipline, Investment Model of Parenting
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By: Michael Monroe
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Giving ‘children from hard places’ the gift of voice allows them to replace fear with trust. Giving them voice enables them to learn how to ask for their needs appropriately. Giving them voice helps them to begin to express what they are feeling. But these children will not find their voice on their own — they need insightful and equipped parents that are willing to give them voice.
Watch as Michael Monroe explains what it means for parents to give their children the gift of voice.
Tags: Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Being Fully Present, Fear, Giving Voice, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations, Overcoming Fear
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By: Dr. Karyn Purvis
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
In order to truly understand children from hard places — what they have experienced, the impact of those experiences and how we can help them heal and grow — it is important that we understand some of the basics. That’s why we have put this collection of eight Empowered To Connect videos together — to introduce (or re-introduce) you to some of the most important basics that we believe every adoptive parent can benefit from.
Click here to watch all eigth videos.
Tags: Adoption Preparation, Attachment, Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Being Fully Present, Brain Chemistry, Compassion, Connecting While Correcting, Creative Ways to Connect, Dealing with Crisis, Discipline, Fear, Giving Voice, IDEAL Response, Investment Model of Parenting, Sensory Processing, Trauma
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By: Amy Monroe
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The following story was included in Chapter 7 (Dealing with Defiance) of Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child. It illustrates well how parents can use playful engagement to correct misbehavior while also staying connected with their child.
Susan recently recounted a recurring issue she was dealing with at home with her six-year-old son, Seth, whom she adopted from foster care. The situation was becoming increasingly problematic and was causing a great deal of frustration. It involved outright defiance, but it started with a simple pair of socks.
Tags: Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Connecting While Correcting, Discipline, Playful Interaction
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By: Michael Monroe
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Children from hard places often experience pervasive and overwhelming feelings of sadness, and these feelings are often rooted, at least in part, in their personal history. The challenge for parents is that many times children express these feelings of sadness through anger and disrespect. In other words, their sad can often look mad — sometimes very mad.
Watch as Michael Monroe talks about some of his experiences with this, and encourages parents to look beyond the “mad” in order to help their children begin to identify, express and deal with their true feelings of sadness.
Tags: Attachment, Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Being Fully Present, Compassion, Discipline, Giving Voice, Loss and Grief, Older Children
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By: Lisa Qualls
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I don’t know about you, but I’m not fond of those moments when my child stomps away in a huff, or crosses her arms as she looks at me. She is mad, and my initial response is to be irritated. As she setttles deeper into “mad,” I can feel myself pull away from her. I get short with her and find I don’t want to look in her eyes.
I need to stop.
This is the crucial moment when I need to stop the “mad cycle” and see it for what it really is.
She is sad.
Tags: Attachment, Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Being Fully Present, Compassion, Discipline, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations, Older Children
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By: Amy Monroe
Monday, July 18, 2011
I will never forget a phone call I made a little over three years ago to Dr. Karyn Purvis. I had just finished reading her book, The Connected Child, and I was so excited to start “practicing” what I had learned. Little did I know that I was taking a step that would lead me (and our entire family) on an incredible journey.
I had spent the better part of an entire week using her strategies of “connecting while correcting” with all four of my kids. They were all out of school for the summer, and looking back I must have been crazy to try this when they were home all day. By the end of that week I was literally exhausted — physically and emotionally. I never imagined that this “connecting while correcting” would take so much time and energy. Threatening to put my kids in “time out” or taking something away was so much easier than this.
So when I called Dr. Purvis I pretty much told her that she was crazy and that this approach of hers would never work for us. I know what you are thinking — who am I to tell the expert that her methods didn’t work? Pretty bold, huh?
Tags: Balance of Nurture & Structure, Behavioral Challenges, Investment Model of Parenting, Motivations and Expectations
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