Empowered to Connect

Archive for “Balance of Nurture & Structure”

Will Trust-Based Parenting Work for My Child?

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Parents often ask whether trust-based parenting — the type of parenting that Dr. Karyn Purvis teaches — will work for their child.

Watch as Dr. Purvis answers this question, and explains why each of our children — regardless of their age or stage of development — need the same things from their parents.

How Long Do I Have to Parent This Way?

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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

As a result of their early life experiences, children from hard places often miss out on some of the key development that is essential in helping them learn to trust and grow relationally. As a result of their unique histories and needs, these children need parents that are willing to utilize the unique approach of trust-based parenting to help them heal and grow.

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis encourages adoptive and foster parents to embrace trust-based parenting as the “new normal” that God has called them to as an essential part of the journey.

How Do I Handle Lying?

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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Knowing how best to handle lying is often a significant challenge for adoptive and foster parents.

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe offer insights to help parents effectively respond to lying while remaining connected with their child.

Will Trust-Based Parenting Prepare My Child for the Real World?

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe talk about the importance of meeting your child’s needs with an appropriate balance of nurture and structure in order to prepare them for success later in life.

Learning to Keep Your Balance

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Thursday, September 13, 2012

What if becoming the parent God has called you to be to your child from a hard place means that you need to un-learn as much or more than you need to learn? What if many of the popular approaches to parenting and discipline, many of which are regarded as “biblical,” actually aren’t best for your child given his background and history and what he needs to heal and grow? What if the parenting program you previously used, even with great success, when raising and training your other children needs to be significantly altered or even discarded for the child you adopted? What if the parenting techniques that most of your friends are using or that you grew up with are likely to be ineffective in achieving long-lasting change for the child you now love and desire to connect with?

I believe that parents need to seriously consider these and many similar questions as they set the course for how to best relate to and parent children from hard places.

How Do I Handle Manipulation and Control?

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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Parents often find that their child from a hard place is prone to use manipulative and controlling behaviors. Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe offer insights to help adoptive and foster parents better understand these behaviors and respond effectively.

I Remember Summer

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

When I became a mother, I wanted summer days to be relaxed and fun. With a larger family, there was more work to be done, so my children had significant chores, and yard work to do, but there was still plenty of time for play. Stacks of books to read, afternoons at the local pool, and sleeping out in the yard were foundations to our days.

This summer my desk is stacked with lists of activities, charts for chores, camp registration forms, and appointment reminders. As I’ve been working on plans for this summer, I recognize how differently I approach summer as the mother of children from “hard places.”

Keeping Connection as the Goal

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Connection is at the heart of how God relates to us and how He has called parents to relate to their children. Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why it is important for adoptive and foster parents to always keep connection as their goal, regardless of the behaviors or challenges they are facing.

Building Trust By Saying Yes

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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Children need a balance of nurture and structure in order to learn to trust and grow. Parents can provide this balance by learning to offer “yes’s” (nurture) as much as possible, along with the “no’s” (structure) that are invariably required to protect and teach their children.

Watch as Amy Monroe explains the importance of saying “yes” to your child (as much as possible).

Real Hope in the Balance

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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The challenges, problems and pain that our children face are real, and as a result, they affect us as parents as well. These challenges impact the whole child; and therefore, we must be willing to engage and embrace our children (and ourselves!) holistically. At the same time, we must always remember there are no quick fixes—merely changing behaviors will not accomplish what is needed. Our goal must be nothing less than healing for the whole child. Much like our own journey of spiritual healing and maturity, the healing we desire for our children will be a process, and it must be anchored by hope—real hope.