Empowered To Connect

Archive for “Behavioral Challenges”

Compassion is the Answer. What’s the Question?

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I’ve been talking with a lot of moms lately and many of them are struggling with their kids. I get it. There are days I struggle too. The issues we face vary from the small, frustrating and everyday, to the big, infuriating and out-of-control. But no matter what the issue or challenge, the one thing I constantly remind them of, and the one thing I have to constantly remind myself of, is the need to see my kids with eyes of compassion…and to approach each and every interaction with them compassionately.

Using Time-In Instead of Time-Out

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Monday, January 30, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about the use of ‘time-in’ instead of ‘time-out’ to effectively correct and train our children. As she explains, this important strategy promotes healthy development and secure connection, while at the same time dealing effectively with misbehavior.

Why Christmas Stinks Sometimes

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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It was the third day in a row, or maybe the fourth. I don’t exactly recall. I do, however, vividly remember coming home from work and being met by my normally patient and long-suffering wife declaring in an overly frustrated tone “Here, you deal with him. I’m done!”

The kids were home for Christmas break and one son in particular was being more than a handful. This was very uncharacteristic for him. The first day we thought it was simply childhood Christmas excitement. By the second day, we were beginning to lose our patience. When I arrived home this day my wife was almost at her wits’ end. Nagging, whining, crying, bugging siblings, arguing, you name it. But why? Didn’t he know Christmas was almost here? Had he forgotten that Santa was “making his list and checking it twice?” Wasn’t he aware of how much mom and dad had to do in order to get ready for Christmas? For so many reasons, now was not the time for him to be acting this way.

What I did next doesn’t come naturally to me.

Giving the Gift of Voice

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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Giving ‘children from hard places’ the gift of voice allows them to replace fear with trust. Giving them voice enables them to learn how to ask for their needs appropriately. Giving them voice helps them to begin to express what they are feeling. But these children will not find their voice on their own — they need insightful and equipped parents that are willing to give them voice.

Watch as Michael Monroe explains what it means for parents to give their children the gift of voice.

It’s Not Over Until It’s Over

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Watch as Michael Monroe explains two important principles that he learned from Dr. Karyn Purvis that can help him and other adoptive and foster parents more effectively connect even while correcting.

Focusing on Food & Nutrition

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

As Dr. Purvis points out in The Connected Child, nutrition is important for all children — and especially so for children from hard places. Dr. Purvis explains, however, that “it’s not always obvious that a child is missing out on complete nourishment.”

Recognizing that many adoptive and foster families face various food and nutrition-related issues, the Spoon Foundation and the Joint Council on International Children’s Services have launched a new online resource — www.adoptionnutrition.org — that focuses on nutrition for adoptive and foster families.

What Every Adoptive Parent Should Know

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

In order to truly understand children from hard places — what they have experienced, the impact of those experiences and how we can help them heal and grow — it is important that we understand some of the basics. That’s why we have put this collection of eight Empowered To Connect videos together — to introduce (or re-introduce) you to some of the most important basics that we believe every adoptive parent can benefit from.

Click here to watch all eigth videos.

Becoming an Advocate for Your Child in School

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Sunday, September 18, 2011

The school experience is an important aspect in the life of a child. And yet, school often presents unique and sometimes unexpected challenges for both children and parents in adoptive and foster families.

Tapestry recently hosted an event entitled Back to School: Strategies to Help Your Child Have a Positive School Experience. During the first half of this Tapestry event, Amy & Michael Monroe discussed keys to help parents advocate well for their child in school.

Listen to Amy & Michael’s presentation. You can also download the slides for their presentation and view a list of suggested resources focused on school-related issues.

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Making the Right Moves in the Defiance Battle

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The following story was included in Chapter 7 (Dealing with Defiance) of Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child. It illustrates well how parents can use playful engagement to correct misbehavior while also staying connected with their child.

Susan recently recounted a recurring issue she was dealing with at home with her six-year-old son, Seth, whom she adopted from foster care. The situation was becoming increasingly problematic and was causing a great deal of frustration. It involved outright defiance, but it started with a simple pair of socks.

Effective Ways to Deal with Sleep Issues

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sleep related issues and challenges are all too common for children from hard places. Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis offers insights and strategies to help parents effectively respond to their child’s fear associated with sleep issues and build connection in the process.