Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why it is important for parents to repair their mistakes, and how repair can actually encourage growth and strengthen the relationship between parent and child.

Recognizing that many adoptive and foster families face various food and nutrition-related issues, the Spoon Foundation and the Joint Council on International Children’s Services have launched a new online resource — www.adoptionnutrition.org — that focuses on nutrition for adoptive and foster families.

As explained on the adoptionnutrition.org website, “While foster and adopted children may appear healthy on the outside, they may very well be deficient in key nutrients that could impact future growth and brain development. These deficiencies develop because many vulnerable children do not receive proper nutrition in their early years.” In response, this online resource offers a broad range of information and advice that is helpful for both pre- and post-adoptive and foster parents.

Parents must always be mindful to look at their children holistically — body, soul and spirit.  In doing so, it is important to understand and meet the needs of your child’s body, including your child’s nutritional needs.  The new adoptionnutrition.org website can help adoptive and foster parents do just that.

For additional insights from Dr. Purvis concerning food-related issues, watch Engaging Food Battles with Connection in Mind.

Watch as Dr. Purvis explains the impact of fear and how parents can begin to help their children learn to trust and let go of fear.

For more insight about the impact of fear, read Chapter 4 (Disarming the Fear Response) of The Connected Child, as well as Chapter 4 of Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child.

●  Handout for The Attachment Dance

●  Handout for Empoweing Our Kids to Succeed: Understanding Sensory Processing and the Neurochemistry of Fear

●  Handout for Foundations for Behavioral Change

In this presentation, Dr. Purvis explains how harm during the critical stages of brain growth can cause significant disruptions in a child’s development and behaviors, and offers strategies to overcome these challenges. This insightful and educational presentation is designed for parents, ministry leaders and adoption and foster care professionals alike.

You can order the DVD online from the Institute of Child Development for a price of $30 (plus shipping). To view a preview of the DVD, click here.

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and has always been a treasured day for our family.  We love a Christmas tree with sparkling lights, stockings stuffed to their brims, meaningful gifts, and lots of special food. But with the addition of our children from “hard places” we have found it necessary to learn new strategies to successfully celebrate holidays together as a family.  Last Christmas was a day of extremes which contained so many lessons for me that I wrote them down that night hoping to make a better plan when Christmas rolled around this year.  This is how I began.

How many times do I need to remind myself:  Children with a history of trauma/neglect must eat every two hours.

I am like a student who needs to write this sentence on the blackboard 300 times before I can join the other children at recess.

Today, Christmas morning, my daughter was playing happily, but as the morning progressed I felt I was watching her inch toward the edge of a cliff. At first it wasn’t too noticeable. She was a little irritable, quick and jumpy in her movements, shouting out what her siblings gifts were as they were opening them, and making us all a little edgy. Her smile was too big, her eyes too bright, her voice too loud. She was on high alert.

Once the gifts were opened I focused on preparing the dinner we planned to eat mid-afternoon. But it seemed Russ and I were continually needed to calm things down, diffuse situations and navigate disagreements. She was moving closer to the edge of the cliff.

I saw it, but I was “too busy” and thought I could prevent her from falling….I would get to her in just a minute.

Then she did it. She ran headlong over the edge. I tried to grab her to prevent the fall, but I was too late. I hadn’t kept her close enough. I had been “too busy” to stop and help her. But God is kind and rather than plummeting to the very bottom, she landed on a small ledge.

She had our attention now. Russ and I scrambled to pull from our “therapeutic toolbox” every tool we could think of. We let down a rope….we let down several ropes…but she refused to grab hold.

Finally Russ lowered me down and I squeezed onto that tiny ledge with her. With a bowl of some of her favorite potatoes, I pulled her onto my lap in our big old rocking chair and fed her, one bite at a time.

As she slowly ate, I whispered comforting words into her ear, like I would a baby. “Come here little love. Take a bite.”; “I know you’re hungry, this will taste good”; “I love you. It’s going to be okay. You’ll feel better in a moment.”

I kissed her wet cheeks. She said nothing, only opened her mouth each time the spoon was offered. Her body relaxed against mine. She sighed. I rocked her back and forth in my arms.

We rested and when she was ready, together we climbed back up the wall of the cliff where Russ pulled us over the edge to safety. We smiled, we hugged.

Then we carried the rest of the food to the table, called the family together, and had Christmas dinner…where she had three more servings.

Lisa Qualls has been married to her husband Russ for over 26 years.  They have 11 children who came to them by both birth and adoption.  She earnestly believes in the power of God to heal children’s broken hearts and is privileged to participate in the process with her own children.  Lisa writes about her life and family for Empowered to Connect (www.empoweredtoconnect.org) and on her blog, A Bushel and A Peck (www.onethankfulmom.com).

In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why it is important for parents to find creative ways to help children from hard places learn life values. She also provides a helpful demonstration of one of these creative approaches involving the use of puppet play.

In order to further help your child learn and practice important life values, download these Life Values Scripts and begin to use them consistently with your child. Also, as your child’s “coach” remember to look for creative ways (such as puppet play, skits or other playful approaches) to help your child “practice” these skills.

Here are a few resources that offer more information about neurotransmitters:

The Connected Child (Chapter 10 – Supporting Healthy Brain Chemistry)

Created To Connect Study Guide (Chapter 10 – Supporting Healthy Brain Chemistry)

The Neurochemistry of Fear DVD (available for purchase from the TCU Institute of Child Development)

During this webinar Dr. Purvis addressed important questions and issues such as: who is a child from hard places; how to encourage the development of trust and secure attachment; effective ways to correct behavior; how to handle transitions; and many more.

Click here to launch the audio and slide presentation for the webinar.  (Note: There were soem minor technical issues during the audio recording.  We apologize for the distractions during the presentation.)