Empowered To Connect

Archive for “Connecting While Correcting”

Is It Adoption Related or Not?

By:

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis answers the challenging question that many adoptive parents ask: is it adoption related or just typical child behavior? In this brief video she offers helpful insights and encourages parents to always be mindful of their child’s history.

Keys to an Effective Time-In With Your Child

By:

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Time-in (as opposed to time-out) is an important strategy to help parents learn to “connect while correcting” with their children.

When using the time-in strategy it’s critical to remember that time-in is not intended to punish your child. Instead, time-in is designed to help your child calm and regulate so that he can express his needs (or wants) appropriately. Also, be sure not to jump the gun and resort to time-in when another, lower level strategy (such as playful engagement or choices) might address the behavior more effectively.

But there are times when a time-in is precisely the strategy that is called for. So here are eight keys to help you implement an effective time-in with your child.

Will Trust-Based Parenting Prepare My Child for the Real World?

By: ,

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe talk about the importance of meeting your child’s needs with an appropriate balance of nurture and structure in order to prepare them for success later in life.

Learning to Keep Your Balance

By: , ,

Thursday, September 13, 2012

What if becoming the parent God has called you to be to your child from a hard place means that you need to un-learn as much or more than you need to learn? What if many of the popular approaches to parenting and discipline, many of which are regarded as “biblical,” actually aren’t best for your child given his background and history and what he needs to heal and grow? What if the parenting program you previously used, even with great success, when raising and training your other children needs to be significantly altered or even discarded for the child you adopted? What if the parenting techniques that most of your friends are using or that you grew up with are likely to be ineffective in achieving long-lasting change for the child you now love and desire to connect with?

I believe that parents need to seriously consider these and many similar questions as they set the course for how to best relate to and parent children from hard places.

Total Voice Control: Focusing on How You Say What You Say

By:

Friday, September 7, 2012

Possibly one of the most practical and useful tools Dr. Karyn Purvis teaches parents is what she calls “Total Voice Control.” This tool equips parents to focus on how they use their own voice when interacting with their child.

Watch as Michael Monroe talks about how parents can use this tool to focus on how they say what they say, and as a result more effectively promote connection and understanding between themselves and their child.

How Do I Handle Manipulation and Control?

By: ,

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Parents often find that their child from a hard place is prone to use manipulative and controlling behaviors. Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe offer insights to help adoptive and foster parents better understand these behaviors and respond effectively.

Responding to Aggressive and Violent Behavior

By:

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis provides wisdom and insight for adoptive and foster parents that need help responding to aggressive and violent behaviors from a child.

Teaching Your Values By Living Them First

By: , ,

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Part of the role of good Christian parents is undoubtedly teaching their children the values they cherish. We want our children to understand the importance of these values and, more importantly, to live a life that reflects them. Respect for others (and yourself), kindness, gentleness, self-control and other similar character qualities provide our children with a solid foundation and prepare them for the future. The question for parents, however, is how best to teach these values in ways our children can understand and make their own. Specifically, we need to ask how we can best do this for our children who come from hard places and have not had these things consistently taught, modeled or esteemed.

Keeping Connection as the Goal

By:

Monday, June 18, 2012

Connection is at the heart of how God relates to us and how He has called parents to relate to their children. Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why it is important for adoptive and foster parents to always keep connection as their goal, regardless of the behaviors or challenges they are facing.

Seeing Beyond the Obvious

By: , ,

Thursday, June 14, 2012

It is often difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible, to see beyond our children’s behaviors. And yet, that is exactly what children—particularly those from hard places—need for us to do. Our children desperately need parents who can see beyond their behaviors to the real child that is locked inside a fortress of fear, confusion and shame.

At the same time, it is important to keep in mind that “seeing beyond” our children’s behaviors is not the same as overlooking behaviors that are unhealthy, unacceptable and hold them back. Some parents at this point may be tempted to respond, “How can we just let our children get away with bad behavior? Isn’t it our responsibility to teach them right and wrong and to discipline them accordingly?” The answer is certainly yes, but as we seek to do this it is important that we remain focused on the primary goal.