Empowered to Connect

Archive for “Creative Ways to Connect”

What’s Your Play Personality?

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I have a confession to make. I don’t like parents who are good at playing with their kids. I could have stated my feelings about these ‘playful parents’ in stronger terms, but I don’t want you to think I’ve gone mad.

When I see fun-loving moms and dads who are seemingly naturally gifted at playing with their kids, it gets under my skin a bit. I see them and their kids both having tons of fun, and I get a little green with envy. They are good at play and being playful with their kids, and I am not. Play and fun seems easy for them, and for me it is anything but. And I am not the only one. Turns out there are many parents like me. But there is good news for all of us.

The Whole-Brain Child

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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Whole Brain Child, by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., offers twelve revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. It is an excellent resource to help parents understand how a child’s brain develops and functions, and how they can help their child learn how to handle and respond to different experiences and challenges. The message of the book is that families — both children and parents alike — aren’t stuck in their current circumstances. Parents have the ability to change these circumstances by changing the way they respond and relate, and as they do this they can literally help to change their child’s brain (and their own) in the process.

Many adoptive and foster parents have found The Whole-Brain Child to be an incredibly helpful and relevant resource as they parent children from hard places. As important, they have found that the insight this book offers and the strategies it suggests are wholly consistent with the parenting approach and strategies taught by Dr. Karyn Purvis, and highlighted on Empowered To Connect.

Keys to an Effective Time-In With Your Child

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Time-in (as opposed to time-out) is an important strategy to help parents learn to “connect while correcting” with their children.

When using the time-in strategy it’s critical to remember that time-in is not intended to punish your child. Instead, time-in is designed to help your child calm and regulate so that he can express his needs (or wants) appropriately. Also, be sure not to jump the gun and resort to time-in when another, lower level strategy (such as playful engagement or choices) might address the behavior more effectively.

But there are times when a time-in is precisely the strategy that is called for. So here are eight keys to help you implement an effective time-in with your child.

Total Voice Control: Focusing on How You Say What You Say

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Friday, September 7, 2012

Possibly one of the most practical and useful tools Dr. Karyn Purvis teaches parents is what she calls “Total Voice Control.” This tool equips parents to focus on how they use their own voice when interacting with their child.

Watch as Michael Monroe talks about how parents can use this tool to focus on how they say what they say, and as a result more effectively promote connection and understanding between themselves and their child.

Using Time-In Instead of Time-Out

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Monday, January 30, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about the use of ‘time-in’ instead of ‘time-out’ to effectively correct and train our children. As she explains, this important strategy promotes healthy development and secure connection, while at the same time dealing effectively with misbehavior.

What Every Adoptive Parent Should Know

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

In order to truly understand children from hard places — what they have experienced, the impact of those experiences and how we can help them heal and grow — it is important that we understand some of the basics. That’s why we have put this collection of eight Empowered To Connect videos together — to introduce (or re-introduce) you to some of the most important basics that we believe every adoptive parent can benefit from.

Click here to watch all eigth videos.

Effective Ways to Deal with Sleep Issues

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sleep related issues and challenges are all too common for children from hard places. Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis offers insights and strategies to help parents effectively respond to their child’s fear associated with sleep issues and build connection in the process.

Connecting While Correcting

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Friday, June 10, 2011

In March 2011, Tapestry hosted an event entitled Connecting While Correcting. This event focused on helping adoptive and foster parents understand the need for connecting with our children, even when correction is required.

Amy & Michael Monroe began the event by presenting some of the key concepts and strategies that can equip parents to connect while correcting. Click here to download their presentation. The second half of the event featured a panel of adoptive and foster parents who shared their experiences and what they are learning as they seek to connect while correcting.

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New DVD: Trust-Based Parenting

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Friday, May 27, 2011

TRUST-BASED PARENTING: Creating Lasting Changes in Your Child’s Behavior is the latest DVD release from TCU’s Institute of Child Development, and is currently available at a substantial discount for a limited time. The Trust-Based Parenting DVD offers in-depth training for parents of children with trauma-based behavioral issues, and is a must-have for adoptive and foster parents, church ministry leaders and professionals.

Becoming a Band-Aid Dad

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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Recently I came across an Adoptive Families Magazine article entitled Band-Aid Mom. In the article, Wendy Flemons, an adoptive mom, asks this important question – “Can a Band-Aid do more than heal a physical wound?” As simple as it may seem, this is a profoundly important question and one that adoptive dads should be equally interested in answering.

Flemons explains in the article her initial aversion to Band-Aids given the tendency of many kids to over-rely on the simple first aid supply that lacks any real inherent healing characteristics. I can relate. However, as I continue to learn more about the important and complex subject of attachment, I have discovered that Band-Aids are actually a highly relevant tool – literally and metaphorically – for adoptive and foster parents as they seek to help their children heal from the effects of their past. Writing about the experience with her 10 year old daughter who they adopted less than a year ago from Ethiopia, Flemons noted that she had learned two important things: “Children have pain beyond what we can see, and Band-Aids are not just physical objects.”