Empowered To Connect

Archive for “Discipline”

Compassion is the Answer. What’s the Question?

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I’ve been talking with a lot of moms lately and many of them are struggling with their kids. I get it. There are days I struggle too. The issues we face vary from the small, frustrating and everyday, to the big, infuriating and out-of-control. But no matter what the issue or challenge, the one thing I constantly remind them of, and the one thing I have to constantly remind myself of, is the need to see my kids with eyes of compassion…and to approach each and every interaction with them compassionately.

Using Time-In Instead of Time-Out

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Monday, January 30, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about the use of ‘time-in’ instead of ‘time-out’ to effectively correct and train our children. As she explains, this important strategy promotes healthy development and secure connection, while at the same time dealing effectively with misbehavior.

It’s Not Over Until It’s Over

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Watch as Michael Monroe explains two important principles that he learned from Dr. Karyn Purvis that can help him and other adoptive and foster parents more effectively connect even while correcting.

What Every Adoptive Parent Should Know

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

In order to truly understand children from hard places — what they have experienced, the impact of those experiences and how we can help them heal and grow — it is important that we understand some of the basics. That’s why we have put this collection of eight Empowered To Connect videos together — to introduce (or re-introduce) you to some of the most important basics that we believe every adoptive parent can benefit from.

Click here to watch all eigth videos.

Making the Right Moves in the Defiance Battle

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The following story was included in Chapter 7 (Dealing with Defiance) of Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child. It illustrates well how parents can use playful engagement to correct misbehavior while also staying connected with their child.

Susan recently recounted a recurring issue she was dealing with at home with her six-year-old son, Seth, whom she adopted from foster care. The situation was becoming increasingly problematic and was causing a great deal of frustration. It involved outright defiance, but it started with a simple pair of socks.

When Sad Looks Mad

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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Children from hard places often experience pervasive and overwhelming feelings of sadness, and these feelings are often rooted, at least in part, in their personal history. The challenge for parents is that many times children express these feelings of sadness through anger and disrespect. In other words, their sad can often look mad — sometimes very mad.

Watch as Michael Monroe talks about some of his experiences with this, and encourages parents to look beyond the “mad” in order to help their children begin to identify, express and deal with their true feelings of sadness.

Seeing Beyond Mad to the Sad

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Thursday, July 28, 2011

I don’t know about you, but I’m not fond of those moments when my child stomps away in a huff, or crosses her arms as she looks at me. She is mad, and my initial response is to be irritated. As she setttles deeper into “mad,” I can feel myself pull away from her. I get short with her and find I don’t want to look in her eyes.

I need to stop.

This is the crucial moment when I need to stop the “mad cycle” and see it for what it really is.

She is sad.

Engaging Food Battles with Connection in Mind

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Monday, June 20, 2011

Food battles can be challenging for any parent, and especially for adoptive and foster parents. Many children from hard places struggle with food-related issues and parents are often at a loss to know how best to respond to these challenges.

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis offers insights to help parents engage “food battles” while keeping connection in mind.

Connecting While Correcting

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Friday, June 10, 2011

In March 2011, Tapestry hosted an event entitled Connecting While Correcting. This event focused on helping adoptive and foster parents understand the need for connecting with our children, even when correction is required.

Amy & Michael Monroe began the event by presenting some of the key concepts and strategies that can equip parents to connect while correcting. Click here to download their presentation. The second half of the event featured a panel of adoptive and foster parents who shared their experiences and what they are learning as they seek to connect while correcting.

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Understanding Sensory Processing

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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Sensory processing is an important topic for anyone who loves and cares for a child from a hard place. Beacuse of their histories, children from hard places often experience altered brain development which impacts the way in which they process sensory data.

In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis explains what sensory processing is and why an understanding of it is vital for adoptive and foster parents.