Empowered To Connect

Archive for “Especially for Dads”

The Wounds You Don’t See

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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I recently read a study that highlighted the difference between our ability to recall images versus words. There were two control groups. The first was shown a picture of a circle. The word “circle” was written down for the second group. The groups were re-convened 72 hours later and asked what they were shown. The group that saw the picture recalled that it was a circle one and a half times better than the group that only saw the word.

Maybe this helps to explain why physical wounds often get so much more attention than emotional wounds when it comes to our children.

What we have learned over the years parenting children from hard places is that physical wounds leave physical scars; emotional wounds scar our children’s ability to trust.

When Your Child Pushes You Away

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Monday, August 12, 2013

When most children get hurt or become afraid, they go to a parent. After all, parents are the ones who protect children and keep them safe from danger. They are the ones who comfort children when they are afraid. For these children it’s a simple equation: mom and dad are safe and I can trust them to help me so I will go to them.

But things aren’t always that simple for children with histories of early harm such as trauma, abuse, neglect, or relinquishment. Their life experiences impact them in any number of important ways, often making them prone to prolonged states of fear and a limited ability to trust. Instead of going to their parents for help or comfort, these children often run from them, push them away, or shut them out.

Expecting So Much More

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

“Who are you?” I remember thinking this unthinkable thought as I looked into the face of my young son only a few years into our life together as an adoptive family. He did not share my DNA but he was every bit ‘mine.’ Yet while we were both made in the image of the same God, I was becoming aware that we were two very different reflections.

In that moment I began to be confronted by much of what I had brought into the journey of adoptive parenting – most significantly my expectations about my child and how this journey would unfold. In reality I hardly knew my son, still that did not stop me from creating expectations about the things he would like and how he would act and think. On top of that, I expected that the adoption path God had led us down would be relatively easy and straightforward once we were home. I convinced myself that adoption was little more than a historical fact of how we came to be, rather than an ongoing reality of the journey that lay ahead.

Will Trust-Based Parenting Prepare My Child for the Real World?

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe talk about the importance of meeting your child’s needs with an appropriate balance of nurture and structure in order to prepare them for success later in life.

How Trust-Based Parenting Can Impact Your Marriage

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Monday, July 16, 2012

Trust-based parenting was developed by Dr. Karyn Purvis and focuses on the parent-child relationship. However, the principles and strategies that it teaches are no less effective when applied to other relationships — most importantly the marriage relationship.

Watch as Michael Monroe explains how trust-based parenting can positively impact your marriage to bring about greater connection througout your family.

A Challenge for Adoptive Dads

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Monday, May 14, 2012

Watch as Michael Monroe talks about the need for adoptive dads to partner with their wives to work together as they lead their children toward hope and healing.