Children from hard places have unique histories and needs. As a result, parents of these children need to learn how to love and parent them well. This requires that parents not only learn strategies that will be effective in helping them heal, but they will also need to ‘un-learn’ previous ways of parenting — whether those be parenting strategies that were successful with their biological children, ways that they themselves were parented or parenting approaches that others in their church or circle of friends are using.
In this brief video, Dr. Purvis explains the need for parents to focus specifically on the child that God has called them to love and care for, and to parent that child in a way that can bring hope, healing and joy.
Recently Dr. Karyn Purvis was interviewed on the FamilyLife Today radio program. During this three part interview, Dr. Purvis discusses the characteristics of children from hard places, the importance of parents having realistic expectations and tools and strategies that can help parents effectively correct behaviors and develop strong and lasting connections with their children. You can listen to each of these interviews below or purchase a single CD containing all three interviews from FamilyLife.
Listen as Dr. Purvis talks about the realities for children from hard places and encourages parents to “count the cost”:
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Listen as Dr. Purvis talks about the importance of parents having realistic expectations as they begin and travel the adoption or foster care journey:
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Listen as Dr. Purvis offers tools and strategies for parents to help them connect with their children to help them heal and become all that God intends:
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Neurotransmitters are the chemical messengers that help our bodies think, feel and move. However, the levels of key neurotransitters in many children from hard places are often too high, too low and/or out of balance. In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis explains the importance of neurotransmitters, both in terms of helping parents gain new insight and compassion for their children and also for understanding how they might begin to address this important issue.
Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child is a study guide created by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael & Amy Monroe to help illuminate the biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the philosophy and the interventions detailed in Dr. Purvis’ book, The Connected Child. This study guide is designed to help adoptive and foster parents better understand how to build strong and lasting connections with their children, and is ideal for use in small groups as well as by individuals or couples.
This new 16 video series (developed in partnership with the TCU Institute of Child Development) offers seven insights and seven gifts that are highly relevant for all parents who are parenting or considering adopting or fostering children from hard places. ETC is also developing a discussion guide for this video series, which will be available in May 2010.
Dr. Karyn Purvis introduces Empowered To Connect’s Insights & Gifts video series. This 16 video series focuses on seven insights and seven gifts for parents who adopt or foster children from hard places.
Adoption Learning Partners recently conducted a webinar entitled Parenting Children from Haiti and Other “Hard Places” featuring Dr. Karyn Purvis. ALP has graciously allowed us to post a link to the webinar here.
During this webinar Dr. Purvis addresses important questions and issues such as: who is a child from hard places; how to encourage the development of trust and secure attachment; effective ways to correct behavior; how to handle transitions; and many more.
Click here to launch the audio and slide presentation for the webinar. (Note: There were some minor technical issues during the audio recording. We apologize for the distractions during the presentation.)
Finding the Real Child, from the Spring 2006 issue of The TCU Magazine, details the remarkable story of Kristen. This story of hope illustrates well the healing power of parent/child connections. The article also offers a brief history of TCU’s Institute of Child Development, and provides an overview of the Institute’s work to help children and parents.
Each of us in our respective work and ministries receive many questions from parents and parents-to-be. These questions deal with a wide range of topics and issues, such as fear, behavioral challenges, discipline, attachment, communication, lying, sensory processing, sleep habits – and the list goes on and on. While each situation has its own unique aspects, there are some fairly common questions and concerns that adoptive and foster parents ask.
In order to help these parents find some of the answers they need, we are launching a series called Common Questions and Concerns. Over time we will address various questions and concerns that parents are raising, and offer practical and proven advice to help parents respond in ways that build and strengthen the connections with their children.
Our first post in the Common Questions & Concerns series deals with the issue of fear, and how parents can help their children overcome their fears:
“Children from Hard Places.” This is the phrase used by Dr. Purvis and others to describe children that have experienced some type of abuse, neglect or trauma during their lives (including prenatal exposure to substances or high levels stress, difficult labor or birth before or medical trauma). Obviously, this phrase applies to most children who were adopted or spent time in foster care.
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Tufts of red hair emerged over the kitchen counter followed by dancing blue eyes and a small freckled nose. “Mommy!” asked the pleading voice of a young five-year-old Suzie, “Can I have a power bar?” Busily working in the kitchen mother replied, “No sweetie, I’ve cooked a big dinner with some of your favorite foods and it will be ready in just ten minutes.” Without warning little Suzie erupted into a volcanic flurry of rage. “You’re so mean to me! You’re always mean to me! You never let me have anything I want! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!” As she ran to her bedroom her mother listened with dread to the slamming of the door followed by the all too familiar sound of toys being thrown against the wall, smashing new toys that replaced toys from her last rage. Mom sighed at the reverberation of another familiar sound – a crash, as Suzie pulled over her bookshelf – followed by the tearing and ripping sounds of Suzie’s books as they were disemboweled and thrown across the bedroom floor.