Empowered to Connect

Archive for “Playful Interaction”

What’s Your Play Personality?

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I have a confession to make. I don’t like parents who are good at playing with their kids. I could have stated my feelings about these ‘playful parents’ in stronger terms, but I don’t want you to think I’ve gone mad.

When I see fun-loving moms and dads who are seemingly naturally gifted at playing with their kids, it gets under my skin a bit. I see them and their kids both having tons of fun, and I get a little green with envy. They are good at play and being playful with their kids, and I am not. Play and fun seems easy for them, and for me it is anything but. And I am not the only one. Turns out there are many parents like me. But there is good news for all of us.

Keys to an Effective Time-In With Your Child

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Time-in (as opposed to time-out) is an important strategy to help parents learn to “connect while correcting” with their children.

When using the time-in strategy it’s critical to remember that time-in is not intended to punish your child. Instead, time-in is designed to help your child calm and regulate so that he can express his needs (or wants) appropriately. Also, be sure not to jump the gun and resort to time-in when another, lower level strategy (such as playful engagement or choices) might address the behavior more effectively.

But there are times when a time-in is precisely the strategy that is called for. So here are eight keys to help you implement an effective time-in with your child.

Total Voice Control: Focusing on How You Say What You Say

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Friday, September 7, 2012

Possibly one of the most practical and useful tools Dr. Karyn Purvis teaches parents is what she calls “Total Voice Control.” This tool equips parents to focus on how they use their own voice when interacting with their child.

Watch as Michael Monroe talks about how parents can use this tool to focus on how they say what they say, and as a result more effectively promote connection and understanding between themselves and their child.

Making the Right Moves in the Defiance Battle

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The following story was included in Chapter 7 (Dealing with Defiance) of Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child. It illustrates well how parents can use playful engagement to correct misbehavior while also staying connected with their child.

Susan recently recounted a recurring issue she was dealing with at home with her six-year-old son, Seth, whom she adopted from foster care. The situation was becoming increasingly problematic and was causing a great deal of frustration. It involved outright defiance, but it started with a simple pair of socks.

Give Your Child Playfulness

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis focuses parents on the need to use playful engagement to help disarm their child’s fear response and enable a stronger connection. This video is part of the Insights and Gifts video series, which includes a small group discussion guide that you can download here.

To learn more about the importance of playful engagement and how parents can use it to both connect and correct, check out the Playful Interaction DVD from the TCU Institute of Child Development.

Empowering, Connecting & Correcting Principles DVD

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Institute of Child Development at TCU has created a nearly two-hour presentation available on DVD in which Dr. Karyn Purvis explains her research-based approach with children who come from what she calls “hard places.” This DVD offers a very helpful overview of the three principles that serve as the foundation of Dr. Purvis’ approach to help parents better understand how to connect with their children in order to help them heal and reach their highest potential.

In this presentation, Dr. Purvis explains how harm during the critical stages of brain growth can cause significant disruptions in a child’s development and behaviors, and offers strategies to overcome these challenges. This insightful and educational presentation is designed for parents, ministry leaders and adoption and foster care professionals alike.

You can order the DVD online from the Institute of Child Development for a price of $30 (plus shipping). To view a preview of the DVD, click here.

Life Value Scripts

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Monday, November 15, 2010

Because of the impact of their histories, children from hard places often lack the experience in effectively communicating their needs and wants, complying with requests and instructions and knowing how to navigate basic aspects of relationships in a healthy way. At the same time, what these children need most to help them heal and learn is not punishment, but practice.

Dr. Karyn Purvis and her colleagues have developed some basic scripts to help parents (and other caregivers) teach children essential relationship skills and important life values. Rather than immediately resorting to lectures, consequences or punishments, this approach actually gives your child practice at “getting it right.” By using these scripts consistently to both teach and reinforce, you have the opportunity to correct while connecting and a result truly help your child begin to overcome the effects of his/her past and together move toward a more hopeful and joy-filled future.

Creative Ways to Help Your Child Learn New Behaviors

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Monday, November 15, 2010

In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why it is important for parents to find creative ways to help children from hard places learn life values. She also provides a helpful demonstration of one of these creative approaches involving the use of puppet play.

Connecting With Your Children as They Get Older

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Monday, November 1, 2010

For adoptive and foster parents, developing strong connections with children when they are young is often challenging. As children grow older, or when older children come into our families, these challenges often increase.

Dr. Karyn Purvis spoke at the 2010 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference in October 2010, where she shared her insight and practical advice about how parents can effectively connect with older children. You can listen to the audio from this session below:

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Insights & Gifts Video Series

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Sunday, April 18, 2010

This 16 video series (developed in partnership with the TCU Institute of Child Development) offers seven insights and seven gifts that are highly relevant for all parents who are parenting or considering adopting or fostering children from hard places. ETC has also developed a discussion guide for this video series, ideal for use either individually or in small groups. You can download the Insights & Gifts Discussion Guide free of charge.