I can vividly remember the moment that I saw my oldest son for the first time. I’m not talking about the day I first laid eyes on him when he was only 18 days old, or the next day when we brought him home, changing our lives forever. I’m talking instead about that cool November afternoon, nearly two years from the day we first met, when I began to look beyond all of my assumptions and even hopes and dreams concerning my son, and caught my first glimpse of the “real” him. That was the first time I believe I truly met my son, as I started to let go of who I thought he was and would become and began to fully embrace the adventure of discovering who God had uniquely made him to be.
“Why do you want to adopt?” I asked Joanie and Don innocently enough. It’s a question we ask virtually everyone at some point as they open up to us about wanting to pursue adoption. She replied, “Because there are so many kids out there who need a home and a family. I think we can save one.” Her response struck a chord in me.
If we’re honest what Joanie expressed has probably occurred to each of us in some way or another. As we listen to the heartbreaking stories of orphans and waiting children or see firsthand the realities of hopelessness and despair in orphanages, this simple, yet deeply compassionate notion of rescuing a child with a difficult past and an uncertain future likely floods our hearts and minds. And yet, this heartfelt sentiment is at best an incomplete motivation for deciding to travel the adoption journey.
We were sitting on the couch just before bed time and I was reading to Grant. He was only days away from his sixth birthday.
Grant has never been much into ruminating or talking about things connected to his adoption. He is fairly reliable for a glancing question or parting comment here and there, but in terms of “parking” on the subject, it just never seems to hold his interest. But instead, this night he bent his head back and looked up at me revealing large tears forming in his little brown eyes. As his lip curled down and the tears began to roll down his cheek he exclaimed as he exhaled “I miss my birthmommy.”
Our desire is to make available highly relevant information and resources through this site and to do so free of charge. However, occasionally we share with you great resources which are only available for purchase. Such is the case with Dr. Purvis’ Lecture Series DVDs. This DVD series contains footage from campus lectures given by Dr. Purvis and can be ordered online. The cost is $60 per DVD (or $250 for the complete set of five DVDs) plus shipping.
Listen to the audio recording of this presentation by Dr. Purvis at Summit IV (hosted by Christian Alliance for Orphans) in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. (Note: This file is large and may take a moment to download and begin playing.) audio recording of this presentation (mp3 file)
I don’t talk with my kids about adoption. It’s not that I don’t think it is a good idea – it certainly is. It’s just that, even though all four of my children were adopted, they have no interest in “talking” about it. At this age they seem to much prefer chatting about it . . . . . casually, when and if they feel like it and on their terms. So that’s what we do, and I love every chance I get.
Over 100 people joined Texans Care at the Texas Capitol on October 3rd to hear Dr. Karyn Purvis speak on The Attachment Dance: How Abuse and Neglect Drive Attachment Problems.
Opening the presentation, Dr. Purvis analyzed drawings that children had made of their families and pointed out indicators that a child either feels a part of a healthy family unit or disconnected from other household members. She then explained the attachment cycle and how it affects a child behaviorally and neurochemically when he or she expresses a need that is met or, conversely, when that need is not met. The impact of this cycle on a child’s behavior, self-regulation, and mental health were discussed, as well as the importance of touch and sensory stimulation in forming healthy attachment between a baby and caregiver.
Many adoptive families understand the importance of talking with their children about adoption. As our children get older, however, it becomes increasingly important that we empower them to handle situations on their own and equip them to speak for themselves. This session at the 2008 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference focused on how to effectively communicate with your child and others about adoption and how to move beyond merely talking to empowering your child.
Dr. Purvis delivered this insightful presentation at the 2007 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference. Encouraging parents to use the gifts and resources God has given them to empower and connect with their children, Dr. Purvis offered several practical illustrations from both the Bible and her own experience in working with children from “hard places.”