Attachment

Closing the Gap

Sue and Ron had three biological children who were healthy, happy and loved the Lord. Life was good and honestly it was fairly simple, at least until they went on a mission trip and visited a Russian orphanage. It was there that they knew in their hearts God was calling them to adopt—and not just adopt any child but a 10-year-old girl named Sasha. They were excited about what God was going to do in and through their family, but they were quite nervous as well.

Sue and Ron knew many families who had already adopted and some of what they knew about these families’ experiences was more than a little scary. Most of them adopted older children from Russian orphanages, some from Sasha’s orphanage, and most had encountered significant challenges not long after they returned home. As they reflected on the struggles that these families faced, Sue and Ron were determined to learn from these families’ experiences.

By Michael Monroe, ago

The Privilege of Saying Yes

One of the things I’ve learned in my journey as a mom is the need for me to raise the level of nurture I bring to parenting in order to help my children build trust. My children need to trust that I will consistently meet their needs in ways that help them understand that they are precious and that their voice matters. Telling them I will meet their needs helps them to “know it;” showing them (over and over and over again) helps them experience it and learn to trust.

I’ve learned that one of the best ways to accomplish this is to give my children as many “yes’s” as I can. It is through my “yes’s” that I can best give my kids this gift of trust. In order to improve in this area, during a recent Saturday at home with my kids I committed to giving them as many “yes’s” as possible. Trust me, this wasn’t easy, but I need the practice and they need this gift. Throughout the course of that day I was intentional about catching myself before each and every “no” I was about to give. As I stopped to think every time I considered saying “no,” I asked myself a simple question: Can I give my child a joyful “yes” instead?

By Michael Monroe, ago

Adoption from the Inside Out

In this audio presentation Michael & Amy Monroe speak to a group of adoptive and foster parents (and parents-to-be) at a Tapestry event about what it means to approach the adoption and foster care journey from the “inside out.” This process requires that parents be willing to look back and make sense of their own past, look forward and honestly examine their motivations and expectations, in order to be free in each and every moment to be “fully emotionally present” with their children to help them heal and become all that God has created them to be.

In addition to listening to the audio, you can also follow along with the slides and handouts for this presentation.

https://empoweredtoconnect.org/wp-content/uploads/Adoption-from-the-Inside-Out-Audio.mp3

By Michael Monroe, ago

Sharing Power With Your Child

In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis explains the benefits of parents sharing appropriate amounts of power with their children through choice giving, compromises and other means. By sharing power appropriately with their children, parents can teach them to communicate effectively about their needs and fears, rather than resorting to behaviors, and can help them develop a strong foundation that will serve them well as they grow older.

By Dr. Karyn Purvis, ago

Finding a Place to Start

Often parents who are struggling to connect with their child find it difficult to find any real measure of hope. In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about the importance for parents to find even a single point of connection as way to start building a bridge so that they can begin to reach their child.

By Dr. Karyn Purvis, ago

Adoption from the Inside Out

For many, the adoption process begins by surveying agency information, evaluating financial considerations and tackling mountains of paperwork, all while working through a complex array of questions, doubts and even fears. One important, but often overlooked, aspect is the need to engage the adoption journey from the “inside out” – through ongoing, honest self-reflection and self-evaluation.

By Michael Monroe, ago

Created To Connect Study Guide

Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child is a study guide created by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael & Amy Monroe to help illuminate the biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the philosophy and the interventions detailed in Dr. Purvis’ book, The Connected Child. This study guide is designed to help adoptive and foster parents better understand how to build strong and lasting connections with their children, and is ideal for use in small groups as well as by individuals or couples.

By Michael Monroe, ago

The Importance of Giving Voice to Children

All children need to know that they can use their voice to effectively communicate their needs and navigate relationships. This is particularly important for adopted, foster and orphan children in order to help them develop trust and secure attachments.

In this brief video Dr. Purvis offers helpful insight about the importance of giving voice to children as well as some practical ways parents and caregivers can go about doing this.

By Dr. Karyn Purvis, ago