Parenting Takes Practice

I will never forget a phone call I made a little over three years ago to Dr. Karyn Purvis. I had just finished reading her book, The Connected Child, and I was so excited to start “practicing” what I had learned. Little did I know that I was taking a step that would lead me (and our entire family) on an incredible journey.

I had spent the better part of an entire week using her strategies of “connecting while correcting” with all four of my kids. They were all out of school for the summer, and looking back I must have been crazy to try this when they were home all day. By the end of that week I was literally exhausted — physically and emotionally. I never imagined that this “connecting while correcting” would take so much time and energy. Threatening to put my kids in “time out” or taking something away was so much easier than this.

So when I called Dr. Purvis I pretty much told her that she was crazy and that this approach of hers would never work for us. I know what you are thinking — who am I to tell the expert that her methods didn’t work? Pretty bold, huh?

Replacing Dread with Joy this Summer

If I am honest I have to admit that in many ways I dread summer. In Texas, where I live, summer means heat – at times sweltering heat. While I do not particularly like the bitter cold of winter, the heat can be downright oppressive. One hundred plus degree days in June, anyone? I guess I am a “highs in the low 70’s, blue skies and gentle breeze all year round” kind of girl.

Summer also means kids, as in all four kids, all day long, every day – or at least that’s how it feels. Only a few years ago, before they were all in school, that didn’t bother me so much, but now it can feel, well, completely overwhelming at times. So the other day I was a little convicted when I was talking with a friend and she told me how excited she was that summer had arrived. Don’t get me wrong, getting to sleep a little bit later and having the option to be lazy all day long is great. But the whining, arguing and the overall opportunity for more conflict among the kids and between me and them – none of that is all that great.

Connecting While Correcting

In March 2011, Tapestry hosted an event entitled Connecting While Correcting. This event focused on helping adoptive and foster parents understand the need for connecting with our children, even when correction is required.

Amy & Michael Monroe began the event by presenting some of the key concepts and strategies that can equip parents to connect while correcting. Click here to download their presentation. The second half of the event featured a panel of adoptive and foster parents who shared their experiences and what they are learning as they seek to connect while correcting.

New DVD: Trust-Based Parenting

TRUST-BASED PARENTING: Creating Lasting Changes in Your Child’s Behavior is the latest DVD release from TCU’s Institute of Child Development, and is currently available at a substantial discount for a limited time. The Trust-Based Parenting DVD offers in-depth training for parents of children with trauma-based behavioral issues, and is a must-have for adoptive and foster parents, church ministry leaders and professionals.

Create a Balance of Nurture & Structure

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why children from hard places need a balance of both nurture and structure in order to feel safe, develop trust and heal. This video is part of the Insights and Gifts video series, which includes a small group discussion guide that you can download here.

Read Chapter 6 from Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child for more about why balancing nurture and structure is important for children from hard places.