Life Value Scripts

Because of the impact of their histories, children from hard places often lack the experience in effectively communicating their needs and wants, complying with requests and instructions and knowing how to navigate basic aspects of relationships in a healthy way. At the same time, what these children need most to help them heal and learn is not punishment, but practice.

Dr. Karyn Purvis and her colleagues have developed some basic scripts to help parents (and other caregivers) teach children essential relationship skills and important life values. Rather than immediately resorting to lectures, consequences or punishments, this approach actually gives your child practice at “getting it right.” By using these scripts consistently to both teach and reinforce, you have the opportunity to correct while connecting and a result truly help your child begin to overcome the effects of his/her past and together move toward a more hopeful and joy-filled future.

Sharing Power With Your Child

In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis explains the benefits of parents sharing appropriate amounts of power with their children through choice giving, compromises and other means. By sharing power appropriately with their children, parents can teach them to communicate effectively about their needs and fears, rather than resorting to behaviors, and can help them develop a strong foundation that will serve them well as they grow older.

Insights & Gifts Discussion Guide

Empowered To Connect has created a discussion guide for the Insights & Gifts Video Series. This discussion guide was designed primarily for use in a small group setting where parents have the opportunity to share openly and learn from others. However, we believe that parents will also find this video series and the discussion guide beneficial for individual use or use as a couple.

Download the Insights & Gifts Discussion Guide free of charge by clicking here.

Finding a Place to Start

Often parents who are struggling to connect with their child find it difficult to find any real measure of hope. In this brief video, Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about the importance for parents to find even a single point of connection as way to start building a bridge so that they can begin to reach their child.

Setting Your Child Up to Succeed

Parents often focus much of their attention on obtaining the right skills and strategies to effectively deal with misbehavior — and this is for good reason. All parents of children from hard places need to understand how to address misbehavior in ways that correct while still connecting. But parents also need to understand the importance of setting their child up to succeed.

In this brief video, Dr. Purvis explains why it is important for parents to set thier child up to succeed, and she talks about some practical ways parents can begin to do that.

Embracing the Grief of Adoption

I was reminded last night of something I already knew, though I often try to forget it. It is one of the more sobering realities of adoption – the fact that there is no adoption without loss and pain . . . and grief.

As an adoptive dad, like all adoptive parents, my tendency is to focus on the miracle, blessing and joy of adoption – and rightfully so. These are the undeniably beautiful realities of the adoption journey. But they do not negate the equally unavoidable reality that there is no adoption without loss and pain. Adoption is at the same time born from and a response to hurt, loss and sorrow.

Insights & Gifts Video Series

This 16 video series (developed in partnership with the TCU Institute of Child Development) offers seven insights and seven gifts that are highly relevant for all parents who are parenting or considering adopting or fostering children from hard places. ETC has also developed a discussion guide for this video series, ideal for use either individually or in small groups. You can download the Insights & Gifts Discussion Guide free of charge.

The Importance of Giving Voice to Children

All children need to know that they can use their voice to effectively communicate their needs and navigate relationships. This is particularly important for adopted, foster and orphan children in order to help them develop trust and secure attachments.

In this brief video Dr. Purvis offers helpful insight about the importance of giving voice to children as well as some practical ways parents and caregivers can go about doing this.