Older Children

Should I Parent My Adopted Child Differently Than Birth Children?

Parents often struggle to blend the parenting approach they used before they adopted with the trust-based parenting approach they are now using to meet the unique needs of a child from a hard place.

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis explains how parents can effectively meet the needs of all of their children — biological, adopted, foster — by using a parenting approach that focuses on building trust. In addition, Dr. Purvis offers valuable insight to help parents explain changes in their parenting approach to their older biological child, and encourages parents to give these children a voice as the family welcomes new children through adoption and embraces their needs.

By Dr. Karyn Purvis, ago

Teaching Your Values By Living Them First

Part of the role of good Christian parents is undoubtedly teaching their children the values they cherish. We want our children to understand the importance of these values and, more importantly, to live a life that reflects them. Respect for others (and yourself), kindness, gentleness, self-control and other similar character qualities provide our children with a solid foundation and prepare them for the future. The question for parents, however, is how best to teach these values in ways our children can understand and make their own. Specifically, we need to ask how we can best do this for our children who come from hard places and have not had these things consistently taught, modeled or esteemed.

By Michael Monroe, ago

Becoming an Advocate for Your Child in School

The school experience is an important aspect in the life of a child. And yet, school often presents unique and sometimes unexpected challenges for both children and parents in adoptive and foster families.

Tapestry recently hosted an event entitled Back to School: Strategies to Help Your Child Have a Positive School Experience. During the first half of this Tapestry event, Amy & Michael Monroe discussed keys to help parents advocate well for their child in school.

Listen to Amy & Michael’s presentation. You can also download the slides for their presentation and view a list of suggested resources focused on school-related issues.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/Tapestry/Back+to+School+(Sept+2011).mp3

By Michael Monroe, ago

When Sad Looks Mad

Children from hard places often experience pervasive and overwhelming feelings of sadness, and these feelings are often rooted, at least in part, in their personal history. The challenge for parents is that many times children express these feelings of sadness through anger and disrespect. In other words, their sad can often look mad — sometimes very mad.

Watch as Michael Monroe talks about some of his experiences with this, and encourages parents to look beyond the “mad” in order to help their children begin to identify, express and deal with their true feelings of sadness.

By Michael Monroe, ago

Connecting While Correcting

In March 2011, Tapestry hosted an event entitled Connecting While Correcting. This event focused on helping adoptive and foster parents understand the need for connecting with our children, even when correction is required.

Amy & Michael Monroe began the event by presenting some of the key concepts and strategies that can equip parents to connect while correcting. Click here to download their presentation. The second half of the event featured a panel of adoptive and foster parents who shared their experiences and what they are learning as they seek to connect while correcting.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/Tapestry/Connecting+While+Correcting+Audio+(Tapestry+-+March+2011).mp3

By Michael Monroe, ago

New DVD: Trust-Based Parenting

TRUST-BASED PARENTING: Creating Lasting Changes in Your Child’s Behavior is the latest DVD release from TCU’s Institute of Child Development, and is currently available at a substantial discount for a limited time. The Trust-Based Parenting DVD offers in-depth training for parents of children with trauma-based behavioral issues, and is a must-have for adoptive and foster parents, church ministry leaders and professionals.

By Michael Monroe, ago

Create a Balance of Nurture & Structure

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis explains why children from hard places need a balance of both nurture and structure in order to feel safe, develop trust and heal. This video is part of the Insights and Gifts video series, which includes a small group discussion guide that you can download here.

Read Chapter 6 from Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child for more about why balancing nurture and structure is important for children from hard places.

By Dr. Karyn Purvis, ago