Making the Right Moves in the Defiance Battle

The following story was included in Chapter 7 (Dealing with Defiance) of Created To Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child. It illustrates well how parents can use playful engagement to correct misbehavior while also staying connected with their child.

Susan recently recounted a recurring issue she was dealing with at home with her six-year-old son, Seth, whom she adopted from foster care. The situation was becoming increasingly problematic and was causing a great deal of frustration. It involved outright defiance, but it started with a simple pair of socks.

Give Your Child Playfulness

Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis focuses parents on the need to use playful engagement to help disarm their child’s fear response and enable a stronger connection. This video is part of the Insights and Gifts video series, which includes a small group discussion guide that you can download here.

To learn more about the importance of playful engagement and how parents can use it to both connect and correct, check out the Playful Interaction DVD from the TCU Institute of Child Development.

Empowering, Connecting & Correcting Principles DVD

The Institute of Child Development at TCU has created a nearly two-hour presentation available on DVD in which Dr. Karyn Purvis explains her research-based approach with children who come from what she calls “hard places.” This DVD offers a very helpful overview of the three principles that serve as the foundation of Dr. Purvis’ approach to help parents better understand how to connect with their children in order to help them heal and reach their highest potential.

In this presentation, Dr. Purvis explains how harm during the critical stages of brain growth can cause significant disruptions in a child’s development and behaviors, and offers strategies to overcome these challenges. This insightful and educational presentation is designed for parents, ministry leaders and adoption and foster care professionals alike.

You can order the DVD online from the Institute of Child Development for a price of $30 (plus shipping). To view a preview of the DVD, click here.

Life Value Scripts

Because of the impact of their histories, children from hard places often lack the experience in effectively communicating their needs and wants, complying with requests and instructions and knowing how to navigate basic aspects of relationships in a healthy way. At the same time, what these children need most to help them heal and learn is not punishment, but practice.

Dr. Karyn Purvis and her colleagues have developed some basic scripts to help parents (and other caregivers) teach children essential relationship skills and important life values. Rather than immediately resorting to lectures, consequences or punishments, this approach actually gives your child practice at “getting it right.” By using these scripts consistently to both teach and reinforce, you have the opportunity to correct while connecting and a result truly help your child begin to overcome the effects of his/her past and together move toward a more hopeful and joy-filled future.

Connecting With Your Children as They Get Older

For adoptive and foster parents, developing strong connections with children when they are young is often challenging. As children grow older, or when older children come into our families, these challenges often increase.

Dr. Karyn Purvis spoke at the 2010 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference in October 2010, where she shared her insight and practical advice about how parents can effectively connect with older children. You can listen to the audio from this session below:

https://empoweredtoconnect.org/wp-content/uploads/Connecting-With-Older-Children.mp3

Insights & Gifts Video Series

This 16 video series (developed in partnership with the TCU Institute of Child Development) offers seven insights and seven gifts that are highly relevant for all parents who are parenting or considering adopting or fostering children from hard places. ETC has also developed a discussion guide for this video series, ideal for use either individually or in small groups. You can download the Insights & Gifts Discussion Guide free of charge.

Healing Family Series DVDs

Dr. Purvis and the TCU Institute of Child Development are developing a new set of DVDs — the Healing Family Series. This series is a follow-on resource to the Institute’s existing Lecture Series DVDs, featuring lectures by Dr. Purvis on a wide range of topics.

When complete the Healing Families Series will include nine professionally produced educational DVDs enabling professionals, families and caregivers to develop skills in dealing with children from hard places. This DVD series will address basic elements of the Institute’s work and include topics such as Sensory Integration, Facilitating Behavioral Change, Parent-Child Attachment and Nutritional Neuroscience.

2009 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference

Tapestry, the adoption and foster care ministry at Irving Bible Church, will host its annual adoption and foster care conference on October 24, 2009, in Irving, Texas. As in past years, the conference will include a great line-up of practical breakout sessions that are highly relevant to adoptive and foster parents. This year’s conference sessions include topics such as the practical benefits of play, sensory processing issues, talking with children about the difficult realities of adoption and foster care as well as two sessions focused on older child adoption – just to name a few.