Talking with Childen

Learning to Tame BIG Feelings

The other day, I heard the words many of us dread: “You’re a bad mommy.” I was also informed by my son that I was teaching the kids how to be mean, not kind.

Honestly, I had to agree with him. The moments leading up to his accusation had not been filled with exemplary parenting. I had yelled and been unkind, throwing around phrases like, “I’m sick and tired of you always ________!” Not my best moment.

So, as he said those words, I knew I had a crucial decision to make. I could dig in my heels, insisting that he deserved what he got and had no right to question me, or I could acknowledge that I had made mistakes and there was truth to what he had said.

By Michael Monroe, ago

Practice Making Mistakes…And Repairing Them

When parents make mistakes it can actually be healthy for both them and their children, so long as parents are quick to repair the ruptured connection. This is certainly good news, given that all parents are prone to their fair share of mistakes.

So here’s a challenge for all parents — let’s practice making mistakes (not intentionally, of course) and repairing them so that we and our children can grow and learn, and our connection can be strengthened. Are you up for it?

By Michael Monroe, ago

Talking With Children About the Difficult Realities

Along with the joys and blessings of adoption and foster care come some difficult and often painful realities – issues such as grief, loss, abandonment, past trauma and the need for forgiveness, just to name a few. It is important for adoptive and foster parents to be prepared to help their children navigate these emotional and complex issues, and to make sense of their own personal story as well.

This talk, entitled Not Your Everday Conversation: Talking with Your Children About the Difficult Realities of Adoption and Foster Care, was presented by Michael and Amy Monroe at the 2009 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference. The talk focuses on these and other issues in an open and honest way, and provides specific tools to help parents effectively communicate with their children about the difficult realities of their past in order to help prepare them for their future.

audio recording of this presentation (mp3 file)

You can also download the handouts for this presentation.

By Michael Monroe, ago

Beyond Talking to Empowering

Many adoptive families understand the importance of talking with their children about adoption. As our children get older, however, it becomes increasingly important that we empower them to handle situations on their own and equip them to speak for themselves. This session at the 2008 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference focused on how to effectively communicate with your child and others about adoption and how to move beyond merely talking to empowering your child.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/Audio-Tapestry/01+Beyond+Talking+to+Empowering.mp3

By Michael Monroe, ago